I Turn To You
by TheTiger
Summary: Picks up immediately where Fault left off. Contains spoilers for that episode DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT AND DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED! But for the love of God, see it, it's great!. Cragen decides enough is enough. EO
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't own SVU or any of its characters: NBC does. I also don't own the song; Christina Aguilera or her label does. If you like this story, be sure and review; right now it's a oneshot but if enough people review I might continue the tale.

"I want a new partner."

Cragen couldn't believe his ears. What does she mean, she wants a new partner? Fin had opened book two months after Kathy left Elliott on how long it would take Benson and Stabler to realize they had feelings for each other. The tension had been building through the past few months, to the point where the entire unit was sure it would boil over soon. So what the hell had…..oh no. Oh no. It was that damn monster they'd just taken down. Son of a…

"Olivia, sit down. Let's talk about this."

"Captain, there's nothing to talk about. I want a new partner. It's a pretty simple request."

"Listen, Olivia, what happened out there….anyone would have done the same. You and Elliott…it's something anyone would have done. You don't have to switch partners because of this."

"Maybe not. But Captain….I can't keep doing this. Elliott and I…we can't work together."

Cragen hesitated, fearing he already knew the answer to his next question. "Why not?"

"Because…because our personal feelings are compromising our professional judgment."

There it was. The politically correct version of "I'm in love with my partner." Cragen shook his head. Damn Elliott. Damn him to hell. Can't he see what he's got here? With the new department regulations, it's not like partners couldn't…well, be **partners** in every sense of the word, unless it really did compromise professional judgment. And Cragen would be damned if he saw his two best detectives split because they thought they couldn't do the job.

To be sure, if Cragen thought their professional judgment really **would **be compromised, he'd split them himself. But with Elliott and Olivia….their feelings, their closeness, enhanced their working relationship. No cop would ever, **ever **leave his or her partner injured. It was the most cardinal law of being partners—you always, always have your partner's back. Elliott acted exactly as he should have with Olivia in the terminal, first checking on her then going after the perp. And from what he understood of the incident in the warehouse, Olivia did the same, trying to talk down the perp rather than escalate a situation which could have gotten Elliott killed.

Cragen shook his head. It was time to take drastic measures.

"Listen, Olivia, why don't you take some time to think about this. It's been a tough case. Go home, take tomorrow off, and if you still want a new partner when you come back we'll discuss it."

"Captain, I really don't think that's necessary…"

"I'm sorry Detective; did I give the impression that was a suggestion?"

Olivia turned around, defeated, and walked out of the office. Good—one problem down. Now to go kick the other one in the ass…

Cragen stormed out of his office, only half-faking his anger. He saw Olivia grab her coat and walk out of the precinct, without a glance towards Elliott. Elliott, at his desk, watched her leave, then turned back to his report.

"Stabler, my office, NOW!"

Elliott looked up, grimacing. Great—the last thing he needed right now was to be chewed out by Cragen. He was still beating himself up over his words in the hospital. "I'm taken." How could he have been so stupid? Taken by what? The job that he and Liv shared? An insane desire to see the most depraved acts known to man perpetrated upon innocent kids?

He still remembered the fear he'd felt when Liv was slashed in the bus terminal. A paralyzing, shattering hole in his chest had opened as he saw what happened…Liv, shouting at the perp….the man slashing his knife across her neck…her blood spilling out on the floor…and right at that point, Elliott had frozen as the hole opened up. No…no…he couldn't lose her….no….and that second had been all the perp needed to grab both kids and run up the escalator. The next time he saw the little boy, his lifeblood was flowing out across the cement of the loading area.

He knew now it wasn't Olivia's fault. She'd done everything she could to keep the kids and the civilians safe. It was him. He'd frozen. He'd let his feelings for his partner get in the way of his job…and a little boy was dead. It could never happen again.

Sighing, Elliott stood up and strode towards Cragen's office. The sooner this was done, the sooner he could finish his report and go home…or possibly to Liv's, to talk. They needed to figure out what they were going to do about this situation.

Cragen sat down behind his desk as Stabler walked in and shut the door. "You wanted to see me, Captain?"

Cragen assessed Elliott, noting the more-intense-than-usual stare, the barely contained emotion. Well, this should shock him into some expression…

"Olivia just came to see me. She requested a new partner."

Stabler stumbled, his mouth opening slightly as shock registered on his face. "She what?"

"She requested a new partner. She said both of your personal feelings were interfering with your professional judgment."

Now impassive again, Elliott scowled. "Maybe she's right."

Cragen sighed. "Damn it Stabler, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Now THAT had an effect. "Sir?"

"I said, what the hell is wrong with you? Aren't you tired of this dance you and Olivia have been doing over the past few years?"

Clearly confused, Elliott said, "Yes sir, that's why we can't work together--"

"Shut up, Stabler. Now, you're going to listen to me and you're going to listen well. First and foremost, neither you nor Olivia did anything any cop wouldn't do for his partner."

"Captain, that's not true. We--"

"SHUT UP, STABLER!"

Elliott closed his mouth, waiting for Cragen to continue.

"Second, your…closeness with Detective Benson has made you both more effective as cops, not less. Third…are you blind! You have a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman in front of you every day, who clearly cares for you, and you've been pushing her away. Your kids know and love her, your friends know and love her, and your co-workers most definitely know and love her. She makes you a better cop, and maybe even more importantly, she makes you a better man. Have you never realized that before!"

"Yes," whispered Elliott.

"Then what the hell have you been doing all this time? No, don't answer that, I don't want to know. But here's what I do want you to do. I've given Olivia the rest of today and tomorrow off to think about her request for a new partner. For all that is holy, for the good of this precinct, and for all the future good you can do for the victims of sexual crime in this city, go to her. Talk to her, try to convince her that all your jacking off the past few years was to cover some kind of emotional insecurity and…here's the tough part….**tell her how you feel!** If you're lucky, she might just listen, and I won't have to split up the best two detectives in SVU."

Elliott said nothing, but just looked at Cragen. Then, almost before Cragen knew he'd done it, he turned around, grabbed his coat, and was out the door.

Cragen looked upwards. There was the second problem down; now, with any luck, all would work out the way he knew it should.


	2. Chapter 2

Alone on the roof of her apartment building, Olivia looked out at New York, lost in her thoughts. How had it come to this? She and Elliott had started out partners, then became close friends…and until Kathy had left him, she'd thought that was all they'd ever be. Good friends, close friends…but friends. But shortly after Kathy had divorced him….they'd become more. Slowly, but surely, an attraction had developed, and now…now it had spilled over into their work lives.

How could he expect her to risk his death? How! After all they'd been through, after all the times they'd been there for each other….she couldn't. She just couldn't. If there was anything she could do to save him, to protect him, she would. She couldn't do otherwise, not anymore…and she was relatively sure he felt the same. One thing was certain—if Elliott no longer had confidence in her, if he could no longer trust her professionally, then they couldn't continue to be partners.

Olivia shook her head, a tear coming at the very thought. She couldn't lose Elliott. They meant so much to one another….she couldn't. As the sun inched closer to the horizon, she let the lyrics of the song that she'd heard on the radio as she drove home play through her mind again…

_When I'm lost in the rain_

_In your eyes I know I'll find the light_

_To light my way_

_When I'm scared, losing ground_

_When my world is going crazy_

_You can turn it all around_

_And when I'm down you're there_

_Pushing me to the top_

_You're always there _

_Giving me all you've got…_

The tears flowing freely now, Olivia thought of all the times she'd had a bad day, or all the crazy guys she'd been with. Elliott was always there for her. The emotional distance he always maintained just fell away when he came to her apartment to "check on her," or when she came to his place to talk after a particularly rough case.

_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do _

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you_

_When I lose the will to win_

_I just reach for you and I can reach_

_The sky again_

_I can do anything_

'_Cause your love is so amazing_

'_Cause your love inspires me_

Wiping her eyes, Olivia thought of her reputation as a tough, strong woman. The other guys at the precinct and in the force didn't know, they couldn't know…that she drew that strength from Elliott. She'd seen and been through so much in her life, with her mother and then her father, that there were days when she was just drained and couldn't go on alone…and when those days happened, there was Elliott.

_And when I need a friend_

_You're always on my side_

_Giving me faith, taking me_

_Through the night_

_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do _

_I turn to you_

_For the arms to be my shelter_

_Through all the rain_

_For truth that will never change_

_For someone to lean on_

_For a heart I can rely on through anything_

_For the one who I can run to…_

Knowing the words to be true, Olivia knew she couldn't lose that. She couldn't lose the only one she could rely on through the storms of her life…the only one who had always been there for her, without question, through everything.

_For a shield from the storm_

_For a friend_

_For a love to keep me safe and warm_

_I turn to you_

_For the strength to be strong_

_For the will to carry on_

_For everything you do _

_For everything that's true_

_  
For everything you do_

_For everything that's true_

_I turn to you…_

Still lost in the song, Olivia suddenly heard the door to the building stairwell open, and as she turned to identify the newcomer, she froze.

Elliott.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Yes, that's right, an update! This is it for this story, but if you want more in this universe, you know what to do.

Elliot paused at the door to the roof. He knew she was up here; it was her favorite place to think. What the hell was he going to say? "Liv, hey, I just wanted you to know I love you." Elliot shook his head. This wasn't him; he was never good at expressing his emotions. He needed to go home, to think…and then, before his brain fully registered the action, his hand reached out and opened the door and he stepped out on the roof.

And she was there.

She turned at the sound of the door and froze, staring at him. He wasn't sure if it was shock that kept her rooted in place or anticipation. Part of him wanted to turn around and run, as fast and as far as he could. The other part wanted to run forward and take her in his arms.

Before he could resolve his internal debate, she spoke. "Cragen told you, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

Olivia turned back around, facing towards the city again. "I can't keep doing this, Elliot. I can't sit across from you every day, joke with you, tease you…flirt with you….and pretend it doesn't mean anything. I don't know when I started to care so much, but I did. I do. And I can't pretend I don't anymore."

She cared about him? Did this mean what he thought it meant?!

"Liv…"

"No, El. Don't try and tell me we can go back to how we were. We can't. That's why I couldn't shoot that bastard. I couldn't be the cause of your death. It would destroy me."

He was walking forward now. "Liv…"

"El, stop. Just stop. We can't play this game anymore."

Damn it, would she just shut up for one second? He didn't know how much longer his control was going to be on the vacation it had left for as soon as he had reached the door to the roof.

"Liv…."

"We have to stop working together. It's the only way. We can't--"

"DAMN IT OLIVIA, WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME TALK?!"

Shocked, Benson turned around and stared at her partner. He had never shouted before.

"Liv…" said Elliot, voice low and hoarse, "I know we can't be like we were before. But maybe…maybe we can be something else. We both know that I'm not the best at displaying my positive emotions. Sometimes I can barely keep my rage under control. But you…you help me do that. You help me keep it together. Hell, sometimes you keep it together even when I want to lose it. I can't lose that. I can't lose **you**. You're the best thing in my life other than my kids, and there are days when you're the only good thing in my life period. So maybe we can't be what we were before—but we can be something else. Something better. Something—"

"Shut up and kiss me, Stabler."

Elliot only paused for a second before wrapping his arms around her and losing himself in her lips. His last conscious thought was "I need to send the captain a thank-you card…"


End file.
